


Elementary, My Dear Watson!

by dgdreamer



Series: The End is the Beginning [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bruce Is a Good Bro, But He's Pretty, F/M, How Many Sherlock Quotes Can You Find?, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Pure Snark, Tony Stark Is an Ass...but a Loveable Ass, Who Gets to Be Watson?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 16:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16957926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dgdreamer/pseuds/dgdreamer
Summary: Lauren is now working in the Tower and Tony Stark never signs his paperwork. Lauren matches wits with a genius and wins even when she loses."The work is its own reward, my dear Watson."





	Elementary, My Dear Watson!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of something between Tony and Lauren. They have a long way to go and there are people and things that will get in the way. But I promise, if you stick with me, it will be worth it. 
> 
> This is a slow, slow burn... but we will get there.

It wasn’t often that Lauren found herself on any of the lab levels in Stark Tower, but today she was on a mission. A mission to track down one person, one Anthony freaking Stark, aka Iron Man, aka genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, aka the giant walking ass who was keeping her from doing her job; and let it be said that Lauren _never_ gave up on a mission. He might own the building where she worked and was living, but when she finally ran him to ground, she would own him. The formidable and wise Pepper Potts, as his former PA, had warned her on their first meeting that he would be difficult and try her patience just for his own amusement, but now he was just going too far. She had worked too hard and too long to gain a reputation as someone who always got things done to let one spoiled, rich, man-child make Coulson and Fury regret placing her as the SHIELD liaison to the Avengers.

Looking around, Lauren took in the unfamiliar spaces surrounding her. She had occasionally ventured into some of the SHIELD lab spaces, but only when necessary, but she had never before ventured into the spaces reserved for Stark Industries or the private domains of Stark and Dr. Bruce Banner. She even wondered if her security clearance allowed her access to them now that she had finally stalked and cornered her prey. It had taken her the better part of the morning to trace his manic movements around the tower. “So much for the idle rich,” she thought dryly.

Mission reports, no matter how tiresome and tedious they were however, needed to be completed, submitted, and filed as quickly as possible, and he had been avoiding signing his for days. His electronic copy was already completed and filed, no doubt because his AI had done the work for him, but the man simply refused to “give the lying liar who lies an autograph.”

Gripping the file folder containing the hard copies of the reports and her StarkPad, _(really SHIELD, you have access to some of the most advanced tech in the Nine Realms, but you insist on paper and ink!?)_ Lauren took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself to bully, beg, wheedle, or cajole just one ink signature from Stark, burying her frustration and mentally cataloging the people she could call on as reinforcements. She briefly entertained a vision of his head caught in the vicelike grip of a Black Widow thighlock, but decided that violence may not be her best course of action in this case, no matter how badly she wanted to resort to it.

“Ma’am,” the pleasing lilt of FRIDAY’s voice broke through her vision, “it appears that Mr. Stark is in Dr. Banner’s lab and they are likely to remain there for an extended period. I will direct you to his area.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY, I wish I had thought to use you to track down Stark before. Remind me to make better use of you in the future. I could save myself time and frustration.” Lauren moved through the maze of corridors as she was guided by the AI. “Security clearance, FRIDAY?” she questioned. “Do I have access or do we need to give them fair warning?”

“Ms. Potts has enabled her access override codes for any areas in which Mr. Stark is present with the exception of his private residence. She anticipated that you might find him difficult to manage.”

“FRIDAY, please tell her I said ‘thank you’ and tell her I owe her… and let’s just keep this a secret between us girls, okay.” Lauren half-whispered conspiratorially. A few seconds later, as she was entering the elevator, Lauren’s phone rang, the ID showing it was the CEO in question.

“Hello,” Lauren answered almost with a question in her voice.

“I just wanted to wish you ‘good luck’ and ‘godspeed’. Tony is an ass on the best of days and an absolute horror on his worst, but I know you can manage him. He’s a complicated man under all that ego… just keep that in mind.” Lauren could hear the affection in the other woman’s voice. Her tone then changed to one that was almost all business. “And now that you’ve joined the unofficial ‘Tony Stark is making my life hell’ club, you are invited to our weekly Saturday brunch meeting. Mimosas, French toast, and general bitching are on the menu… Stark’s buying. I’ll text the location. We expect a full report then.”

“Thanks.” Lauren was at a loss for words for one of the first times in her life. “I hope I’m not in jail for murdering him on Saturday.”

“Not that some of us haven’t considered it, but I have a feeling you can be far more creative in finding ways to torture him. I have confidence in you.” The smile in Pepper’s voice could be heard over the line. “Got to run. I hate R&D meetings. Tell Tony he’s in trouble for missing the last two.”

“Imagine that, Stark shirking responsibility.” Lauren replied, sarcasm dripping from the words. “I’ll tell him. See you Saturday.”

Lauren replaced her phone in her pocket, wondering how her life had come to this. A few years ago, she was content being a SHIELD field agent assisting with intelligence and analysis, comfortable in the anonymous middle ranks of the covert agency. Now, she was a part of one of the most visible teams in the world and invited to have brunch with one of the most powerful women in the world of business, and by extension, politics. It was equal parts exciting and terrifying. How, in the name of all that is holy, did she think she was ready for this?

Moment of self-doubt over, Lauren exited the elevator near the doors that led into the personal laboratory space of Dr. Bruce Banner. Through the walls of glass, she could see the two men hovering over a worktable, deep in conversation. Tony Stark was talking, hands gesticulating wildly as he described whatever insane new idea he was obviously proposing. She could tell that it must be pretty outlandish by the way Banner’s forehead creased, a distinct line appearing between his eyes. She wondered briefly just how many headaches Stark had caused the other man over the years, finding humor in the feeling of comradery that brought her.

Lauren pressed her hand to the scanner that would allow the doors to open, hearing the beep of recognition and the soft click as the lock released and the door opened before she could even put her hand to it.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” she announced her presence as soon as she crossed the threshold, “ I hate to interrupt genius at work, but I need a minute of Stark’s time.” Lauren tried not to glare at him, hoping that an easy and friendly approach would help her get what she needed.

“Sherlock! What brings you to… oh, no… I told Agent Agent that I hate signing things. They need to stop killing trees to feed their need to make everyone’s life difficult and get with the modern age. Who even does paper anymore? This is why SI is 94% paperless. Do you know how many germs can live on one piece of paper?” Tony stood and began to circle toward the door as he spoke, obviously looking for escape.  Lauren halted inside the door, effectively blocking him in unless he decided to be incredibly rude and knock her out of the way. If that happened, Black Widow would be her next call.

“Damn it, Stark! I’m not asking for a kidney here! I’ve got better things to do than chase you all over this building for a signature.” Lauren tried not to let her irritation with him seep into her words, but she was beginning to believe he was testing her on purpose.

“Tell Patch the Pirate that he can learn to live with electronic copies. I don’t actually work for him so he needs to be satisfied that I do that much.” He moved back to the worktable, effectively dismissing her.

“Since I do work for him, and I am responsible for your reports, that’s not really going to cut it.” Lauren placed the folder on the table near his elbow, a pen at the ready. “You might be stubborn, but I’m patient.” She found a rolling lab stool nearby and took up a position between him and the door, making a show of settling in to wait him out, smiling at Bruce in the process. “I hope you don’t mind sharing your space, Dr. Banner, I promise not to be a distraction. I’ll just be working on some requisitions.”

“I don’t mind, but you sure you want to do that? I mean,” he stammered slightly, “not many people want to risk being around me too long – and with Tony here…” he trailed off, clearly referencing his capacity to Hulk out under stressful situations and Stark’s predisposition to create more stress than ten normal people.

“Have you met Director Fury?” she grimaced back. “I think I’ll take my chances of coming face to face with Big Green in person, thanks,” she winked at him to ease some of the tension. “Of course, genius here could solve all of our problems by signing the damn report.” Lauren’s chuckle softened the tone of her words as she tried to make the other man more comfortable. “On the bright side, I’d like to get to know you all a little more since we’re working together now. Become a real member of the team.”

“I think Tony made it official in the debrief the first day, gave you the Stark stamp of approval with that nickname.” Bruce finally let a smile cross his face and light his eyes as he cut his eyes toward the other man for confirmation.

“Sure, sure…” he waved his hands dismissively, “You know my methods… still not signing, Sherlock.” The man continued to ignore her, his back to her as he worked on a diagram on the worktable. Lauren was determined to pull him into a conversation that would distract him and hopefully end with her getting what she needed.

“Why ‘Sherlock,’ Stark? Was it my ability to use observation and logic or do I strike you as a high-functioning sociopath?” Her efforts at misdirection were rewarded as he spun on the stool he had taken up and looked her in the eyes, obviously picking up on the reference and preparing to engage.

“It was a compliment. After all, mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.” He finished with one raised eyebrow.

“I’m not sure if you’re flattering me or yourself, genius. It’s just by business to know what other people don’t know.” Her own brow lifting in return of this challenge.

“Why are you so suspicious?” He deadpanned.

“Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?” she shot back quickly.

Bruce watched the verbal sparring with interest, catching the references and waiting to see which one of them would break the string. “Having fun?” he chimed in.

“Starting to,” they both responded almost in unison.

Lauren turned her gaze fully on Bruce. “Well, if I’m Sherlock, Bruce, will you be my Watson?”

“Why!?” It was the men’s turn to reply in chorus. One questioning, the other sounding a little offended.

“Why him?” Tony asked again, almost with a whine.

“Yeah, why me?” Bruce asked puzzled and maybe a little uncomfortable.

“Seriously, Stark, who would believe you as a sidekick? And Banner, you have the grand gift of silence; it makes you quite invaluable as a companion.” Lauren delivered this last while looking directly into Tony’s eyes.

“Hey! Get your own sidekick. I already got dibs on the Big Guy.” He was starting to enjoy himself in the conversation.

“Sidekick?!” Bruce tried for exasperated but only sounded mildly amused. “I thought we were Science! Bros – really Tony, I am deeply hurt and offended.” He dropped his head slightly, fluttering his eyelashes a bit, looking a bit ridiculous in his attempt to be cute.

“Your ego’s too big for you to be Watson, Stark, and this Tower isn’t big enough for two Sherlocks… You gave away the title and now I need a Watson.” Lauren smiled at Tony, enjoying teasing him.

“Well, since she asked… I’d rather be her sidekick. She’s prettier and I won’t have to worry about her poking me with sharp things and making plans that will blow up my lab.” Bruce grinned at her.

“Except on Tuesdays, Bruce, you never know about Tuesdays,” Lauren winked back at him.

“But I’m pretty!” Tony pouted. “Does this mean you’re breaking up with me Brucie?” He adopted the same look that Bruce had used a few moments before. Only on him the fluttering lashes framing whiskey brown eyes looked anything but ridiculous, almost distracting Lauren from the conversation. She realized the trail of her thoughts and jerked her attention back to their banter.

“Awwww – Tony, you’re pretty too,” she tilted her head and widened her eyes in mock appreciation. “After all, brainy’s the new sexy. Tell you what, you can be my Miss Moneypenny.”

“I’m disappointed, Sherlock, mixing fandoms… ugh…very poor taste,” the man folded his hands over his chest in mock shock, “You horrify me!”

“I’m sure the fandoms will forgive me.”

“Be a little more imaginative… I thought you might have at least made me your Irene Adler.”

“Are you confessing your intentions to work on the shadier side of the law, Stark? Do I need to keep a closer eye on you?” The question was asked innocently enough, but it was just enough to allow Stark to reply with another raised brow and a flirtatious tone.

“I was thinking more along the lines of being the man who eclipses and predominates the whole of his sex in your mind.” He leaned just a bit closer as he spoke.

“Dr. Banner, does he always think this well of himself? I had hoped the stories I heard were exaggerated.” Lauren’s eyes never left Tony’s.

“Don’t let it get to you. It only encourages him.” Bruce smiled, looking between the two of them.

“Hmmmm…” Lauren began thoughtfully, “maybe you could be our Mrs. Hudson. You are our landlord after all. What do you think Watson?” she tried to keep her voice even, struggling to not allow the laughter beginning to bubble in her chest to escape.

“Wha – I – the landlady! That’s – I have –“ he continued to sputter, clearly indignant. He rose from his seat in a huff. “I’ll be in _my_ lab!”

“Sign the report and I’ll take it back.” Lauren’s words stopped him.

“And?” he questioned with a pointed look.

“… and if you promise to sign all your reports and file all your paperwork without me chasing you down, you can be my Irene.” Lauren sighed audibly, pointing at the pen and folder still sitting where she placed them earlier.

Within seconds, he had signed, handed her the folder with a wink, and left the room. Clearly thinking he had been victorious in their battle of wills.

“Well played, Sherlock, you’ve accomplished the impossible!” Bruce laughed in appreciation.

Lauren picked up the folder and moved toward the door, turning back to Bruce as she opened it, beaming. “The work is its own reward, my dear Watson.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, how many quotes from any of the incarnations of Sherlock Holmes did you find? There were things there from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original, from the Benedict Cumberbatch BBC series, and from our beloved RDJ's (or maybe he's just my beloved RDJ) interpretation of the character. Some are adapted for the context of the story, but you should have been able to spot a few famous ones.


End file.
